Today has been a long day.
I didn't get out to see Dad until early evening and wondered how his mood would be today. I arrived at the hospital at 6:25PM, knowing that I only had 5 minutes left of the 6PM visiting 1/2 hour available for ICU patients. He is in room 21 and this is the first time I have visited Dad since he was put into isolation. I knock on the glass and his nurse turns to see me. She points at the gowns and gloves and I put on both before entering the room. It's really cold in here. His nurse looks so familiar and we both realize that she is the nurse who took care of Dad when he first arrived in December. December seems like a million years ago now. She is awesome as they all are; Dad's Angels on Earth. Dad is asleep and he looks so thin and his cheeks are sunk in looking. She tells me that Dad had a very tiring day today. He is finally resting and we decide that I won't wake him on this visit. If i do, I will only have to leave in a minute and it is better to wait and wake him when I return at 8PM for the next visiting 1/2 hour. I see his Prayer Shawl sitting on the window sill and ask the nurse if I can put in over his legs. She says of course and helps me spread it out. She talks with me about Dad's day. Today, the three drains were removed from his chest cavity as the drains weren't producing any more fluids, which is great. The MSRA Staph infection is being treated and there is no fever at this time. They have also removed Dad's staples from his back where his surgery incision was made. Dad is still on the ventilator, but the Respiratory Therapist was able to put the Trach Collar on him at 3am this morning for a very short time. He became tired quickly she explains, but at least there was a small step towards getting him off the ventilator. Other than that, nothing has changed. It is now 6:50PM and the nurses are going to start their shift change, so I must leave to wait for the next visiting time. I thank Dad's nurse for her care/information and whisper to Dad that I will return, just in case he hears me in his sleep.
I decide to head to the cafeteria to eat something, but missed it by minutes as it closes at 7PM. The small deli type counter is open, so I grab a Chicken Salad and sit down to wait. When I return, they are moving Dad to another room. Apparently someone is much more contagious than Dad right now. They tell me to come back in 10 to 15 minutes, but I watch as they prepare to move him. It always amazes me what they must go through to move Dad. The tubes, equipment...it's just amazing to watch. They have to disconnect the respirator for the move and one of the nurses "bags" Dad for the short walk down the hallway. Watching this man compress the bag that provides my father with breath is a mind boggling experience. I wonder how he knows just how often to push the bag and what would happen if he forgot to push the air into Dad's lungs at just the right moment. I know, I know...too much time to think and thinking about crazy things! Anyway, they get him settled in a room and he now has a roommate. Dad is already asleep again but I take his hand and I wake him. He opens his eyes very slowly and a big smile spreads across his face. I love when my father smiles, it makes my heart feel at ease. I tell him about my day and tell him not to try and talk. He can't talk, but usually tries to mouth words and that only tires him, so I chatter on as usual. I tell him about the website and all of the emails and phone calls today. He smiles and shakes his head from side to side as if to say, wow, I can't believe this is happening to me. Dr. Shiekh arrives for a late round with patients and he looks at Dad and asks, "How are you doing today Mr. Fraga?" Dad shrugs and the doctor proceeds to tell him that he heard he was on the Trach Collar today and is thrilled about that. He explains to Dad that he is still off his any heart medication and that he plans to have a Cardiologist come by tomorrow to check and make sure his heart is doing well. He tells Dad that he plans to do another scan of his chest to check and see that everything looks good. He then turns to leave, asking me if I have any questions tonight. I tell him I do and we walk towards the door. I explain to him that when Mom was here on Sunday, the nurse told her to see about a family meeting with Dad's team of doctors. Dr. Shiekh says that a meeting isn't really necessary and that he can talk with me now. He says that the plan is to keep doing what they are doing now, which is to wait for him to get stronger and off the ventilator. He feels that Dad is doing well and says that Dad is getting the best of the infection and the infection isn't getting the best of Dad. He knows that Dad has been through so much, but can't really say more at this time. He says they will keep him here until they can move him. I am so frustrated. I want a quick fix to his condition, but know it just isn't going to happen. After a few minutes, Dad drifts off again and I pull up a chair and hold his hand. I can feel him squeeze my hand once in a while and sit and pray. I am so depressed today and cry at the drop of a hat. They don't ask me to leave at 8:30 so I stay until 9PM. I grab Dad's white board and leave him a note and ask the nurse to read it to him when he wakes up. I tell him good bye and that I will be back tomorrow.
I didn't get out to see Dad until early evening and wondered how his mood would be today. I arrived at the hospital at 6:25PM, knowing that I only had 5 minutes left of the 6PM visiting 1/2 hour available for ICU patients. He is in room 21 and this is the first time I have visited Dad since he was put into isolation. I knock on the glass and his nurse turns to see me. She points at the gowns and gloves and I put on both before entering the room. It's really cold in here. His nurse looks so familiar and we both realize that she is the nurse who took care of Dad when he first arrived in December. December seems like a million years ago now. She is awesome as they all are; Dad's Angels on Earth. Dad is asleep and he looks so thin and his cheeks are sunk in looking. She tells me that Dad had a very tiring day today. He is finally resting and we decide that I won't wake him on this visit. If i do, I will only have to leave in a minute and it is better to wait and wake him when I return at 8PM for the next visiting 1/2 hour. I see his Prayer Shawl sitting on the window sill and ask the nurse if I can put in over his legs. She says of course and helps me spread it out. She talks with me about Dad's day. Today, the three drains were removed from his chest cavity as the drains weren't producing any more fluids, which is great. The MSRA Staph infection is being treated and there is no fever at this time. They have also removed Dad's staples from his back where his surgery incision was made. Dad is still on the ventilator, but the Respiratory Therapist was able to put the Trach Collar on him at 3am this morning for a very short time. He became tired quickly she explains, but at least there was a small step towards getting him off the ventilator. Other than that, nothing has changed. It is now 6:50PM and the nurses are going to start their shift change, so I must leave to wait for the next visiting time. I thank Dad's nurse for her care/information and whisper to Dad that I will return, just in case he hears me in his sleep.
I decide to head to the cafeteria to eat something, but missed it by minutes as it closes at 7PM. The small deli type counter is open, so I grab a Chicken Salad and sit down to wait. When I return, they are moving Dad to another room. Apparently someone is much more contagious than Dad right now. They tell me to come back in 10 to 15 minutes, but I watch as they prepare to move him. It always amazes me what they must go through to move Dad. The tubes, equipment...it's just amazing to watch. They have to disconnect the respirator for the move and one of the nurses "bags" Dad for the short walk down the hallway. Watching this man compress the bag that provides my father with breath is a mind boggling experience. I wonder how he knows just how often to push the bag and what would happen if he forgot to push the air into Dad's lungs at just the right moment. I know, I know...too much time to think and thinking about crazy things! Anyway, they get him settled in a room and he now has a roommate. Dad is already asleep again but I take his hand and I wake him. He opens his eyes very slowly and a big smile spreads across his face. I love when my father smiles, it makes my heart feel at ease. I tell him about my day and tell him not to try and talk. He can't talk, but usually tries to mouth words and that only tires him, so I chatter on as usual. I tell him about the website and all of the emails and phone calls today. He smiles and shakes his head from side to side as if to say, wow, I can't believe this is happening to me. Dr. Shiekh arrives for a late round with patients and he looks at Dad and asks, "How are you doing today Mr. Fraga?" Dad shrugs and the doctor proceeds to tell him that he heard he was on the Trach Collar today and is thrilled about that. He explains to Dad that he is still off his any heart medication and that he plans to have a Cardiologist come by tomorrow to check and make sure his heart is doing well. He tells Dad that he plans to do another scan of his chest to check and see that everything looks good. He then turns to leave, asking me if I have any questions tonight. I tell him I do and we walk towards the door. I explain to him that when Mom was here on Sunday, the nurse told her to see about a family meeting with Dad's team of doctors. Dr. Shiekh says that a meeting isn't really necessary and that he can talk with me now. He says that the plan is to keep doing what they are doing now, which is to wait for him to get stronger and off the ventilator. He feels that Dad is doing well and says that Dad is getting the best of the infection and the infection isn't getting the best of Dad. He knows that Dad has been through so much, but can't really say more at this time. He says they will keep him here until they can move him. I am so frustrated. I want a quick fix to his condition, but know it just isn't going to happen. After a few minutes, Dad drifts off again and I pull up a chair and hold his hand. I can feel him squeeze my hand once in a while and sit and pray. I am so depressed today and cry at the drop of a hat. They don't ask me to leave at 8:30 so I stay until 9PM. I grab Dad's white board and leave him a note and ask the nurse to read it to him when he wakes up. I tell him good bye and that I will be back tomorrow.
1 comment:
This is Kathie Robson, Gene's daughter-in-law. We've been keeping up with Bob's progress through Gene, but this blog is so much better and it will be wonderful for all of you for the future as well.
I lost my dad this past October and we spent quite a bit of time in the hospital too, but nothing near what you all are going through. This blog just brought it all back and I wanted to tell you that my heart is just breaking for all of you. I don't know who this is worse for, the family or Bob.
Both Mark and I are praying that he'll start on the road to recovery soon. If there is anything we can do, please let us know. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
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