March 1, 2010

A Memorial Service will be held to Celebrate Dad's Life:

Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 6:00 PM

Prince of Peace Lutheran Church

38451 Fremont Boulevard

Fremont, California 94536

Our family asks that in lieu of flowers, donations can be made to Prince of Peace:

In Memory of Robert Joseph Fraga

Our family wishes to extend our heartfelt gratitude for your unwavering support of our father and our family during Dad's past 11 1/2 week fight. We love you all very much and look forward to seeing you at the Memorial Service.

Dad is surely saving a place for me in heaven...

February 26, 2010

Dad was welcomed into the arms of our Heavenly Father today at 10:56AM. We appreciate your never ending support. He was home with his family and very happy to be out of the hospital. I look forward to talking with you later about the incredible gift of being with Dad as he entered into paradise. God's Blessings!

February 24, 2010

Dad is taken off the respirator early today and the trach collar is already on by 9AM. We are thrilled that the hospital is moving so quickly, but also concerned that since Dad is now breathing on his own without support of the respirator, time is of the essence. We are with him again today and he is moved to an unmonitored room on the 3rd floor about 11AM. We are thrilled to have a room to ourselves where we can stay with Dad continuously, comforting him and keeping him strong in his wish to get home. Pastor Zelt arrives to visit today and while he is there, the doctors that will assist with Dad's move home meet with us in Dad's room. They will be treating Dad's symptoms not his illness during this time. They explain that we will be working with Hospice to make Dad's final time at home comfortable. The goal to get him to his home in Oakdale is not logistically possible and so we decide that moving Dad there would not be a safe decision. We all decide that my home in Fremont is the logical choice for Dad and he agrees. I am torn with this decision as I know how much everyone wants Dad at his home with Mom. I want to make sure that my family is alright with my home and they pour out the love of their hearts to me and tell me that they are happy to have Dad come to my home. The room is so peaceful without the constant sound of alarms and machines. They are giving Dad morphine now; 2 mg. constant drip, which I am told isn't much and also Adavan for any anxiety he may experience. The morphine works quickly and Dad goes to sleep. He sleeps for hours and we are not able to wake him. Sheri needs to drive home to Livermore to get her daughters, Brittney, Megan and Karlie to visit Dad. It is just too much to drive and so her boyfriend, Hugh offers to drive and get the girls and bring them back to the hospital. Dad is still sleeping and Dr. Sheikh comes into the room to explain that Dad's body is no longer absorbing the nutrition of the feeding tube and that he is planning to turn it off. He tells us that he doesn't expect him to wake and we gradually accept that Dad is in his final moments. We understand and agree to the removal of the feeding tube as this is a continuation of the request Dad gave us before he went into his deep sleep. We realize that the time is only drawing nearer now. I have a very strong need for my children to see their Papa, but it just isn't going to happen tonight as they are not local or working. Sheri and her girls arrive and Tammy is also there with her daughters Taylor and Leah. They are all standing around Dad's bed and the sobs and cries are heard throughout the hospital floor. We all try to comfort each other and explain that Papa went to sleep and the doctors don't expect him to wake. My son Joey is on his way as well and I am careful not to discuss Dad's condition as I want him to see his Papa, asleep or not. Joey arrives at about 9PM and Dad continues to sleep. He stays a bit and then drives back to his home in Livermore and the girls all decide to head down to the vending machines for snacks with their Grandma. While they are gone, the nurses come in and see that Dad needs to be shifted and they begin the tedious task of lifting moving and cleaning Dad up for his night of sleep. While they are doing this Dad wakes up and is wide awake! Someone calls the girls and they come running up to the room to see their Papa awake and smiling at them. The cry and laugh and spend time with him and he is awake and responsive for a long time. Sheri, Tammy and I finally decide that we should head home and Mom is going to sleep at the hospital tonight with Dad. Being out of ICU has many benefits and the nurses are as amazing as ever in their quest to take care of our father. I drive home feeling exhausted and concerned that we need to get Dad out of the hospital as quickly as possible.

February 23, 2010

This will be a short post today as it is 4:50AM and I functioning on very little sleep right now and need to get to the office as early as possible this morning. Tammy arrived at the hospital very early this morning and while she was there, she saw Dad's team of doctors and asked about the meeting today. They told her that they would meet with us at 1:00 in ICU. Tammy called us to let us know and we all prepared for what we expected would be a very long and exhausting day. Sheri and I headed to work early and handled business until about 10AM. It's just so hard to be working when our thoughts are constantly with Dad and our wanting to be with him. We arrived and spent the morning with Dad. There is a peace about him and he smiles constantly. He has told us that he wants to go home and this is why we are meeting with his doctors today. Dad is so peaceful today and he jokes with us and makes us laugh. We spend the morning just being with him and letting him know just how much we love him. Sheri, Tammy and I are so blessed to be able to spend the day with Dad and it is one of the best days ever with him since he has been in the hospital. At one point a new nurse starts her shift and Dad mouths that he wants ice chips. We look at each other, knowing that this just isn't possible. Dad is told that he can't have an ice chip and he puffs out his lip in that characteristic way and begins to cry and I say, yes you can Dad, I will get you an ice chip. The feeling of the room changes as Mom, Tammy and Sheri look at me like I am absolutely nuts! Sheri says, OK Miss Go To who can everything done. You get that ice chip for Dad and she tells Dad that Lynette is going to get that ice chip for him. All of this is done with great sarcasm as we know that he can't have one, but Dad believes I will get him that ice chip if it's the last thing I do. He smiles at me. Later that day, the doctors agree that Dad can have a couple of ice chips! I of course jump right in and tell Dad that I am responsible for getting those chips approved for him! Everyone laughs at my wanting to take credit for Dad's wish and he smiles as he looks at me, believing I had everything to do with getting that ice chip for him. It is a brief and humorous moment. At 1PM we meet with Dr. Sheikh, Dr. Whyte and Dr. Whyle to discuss Dad's wish to go home. They agree that this is not an unreasonable request as Dad has been through so much and he has fought so valiantly through it all. They explain to us that they will do everything they can to make this happen for Dad and for us. We tell Dad and he is so happy. He is ready to leave now, but we explain that the hospital although moving as quickly as possible right now, still moves very slowly. We tell him he will be home soon and promise he will soon be seeing his precious dogs, Nikki and Shadow. It is harder to leave tonight than any other night in the past 11 weeks, but knowing he will soon be home and at peace is all we need to keep us going another day. Please know that Dad is aware of all of the love and prayers of everyone out there. Although you have been so involved in his road to recovery, we must ask that you allow us the privacy our family now needs to get through his journey home. He expressed to us that he only wants to be with his family right now and we must respect his wishes. We love you all and thank you for being there for our family. We plan to be with Dad every minute of every day and to keep him safe and secure in his wish to go home. God's peace and love surrounds us and keeps us all strong.

February 23, 2010

Today's post will be very short. It is very early and I am working on very little sleep and need to get to the office as soon as possible today. Dad has asked that we take him home and the doctors have agreed to make that happen for him. Our family feels so blessed to have all of the support and love that you have wrapped around us during Dad's time in the hospital. We only ask that you understand that he has expressed to us that he wants only his family with him right now and although he feels deep love for all of you, we must respect his wishes and do everything we can to give him the peace he so deserves. I promise that I will try to keep everyone abreast of Dad's progression, but my only concern right now is my father and his wishes. Dad is so content and he is resting peacefully in his decision to go home and we want to make this happen as quickly as possible. The Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make his face shine upon you and give you His peace. God's peace to each and every one of you.

February 22, 2010

For my birthday, Sheri bought me tickets to see a Christian singer that we love out in Lodi. We enjoyed the show and both felt it was good to get away from all of the worries of life for just a couple of hours. I am so thankful for my sister and her never ending love and support. We didn't get home until pretty late and by the time I got to bed, it seemed like it was already time to get up again. My plan this morning was to get to the hospital by 6AM so that I could hopefully meet with Dad's doctors and discuss this idea of moving him to another facility. Unfortunately, I woke up at 4AM as planned, but didn't get out of the house until 7 and arrived at 7:30. When I got to the ICU front desk, I was of course asked what I needed because visiting hours don't start till 10AM. I explained that I drove out because I needed to see my father this morning and the nurse called to Dad's nurse to see if I could come in and see him. I was told yes and I gowned and gloved, entering Dad's room. I met with his nurse today, Kim. She is absolutely one of the kindest nurses and people I have ever met. I can't say enough about the people at Stanford. The are incredible individuals that treat my father like their own; I call them "Dad's Angels". Kim explained that Dad had a very rough night. He didn't sleep and at 6:30AM they unfortunately had to put him back on the respirator at 50% oxygen. I am saddened by this news and talk with Kim a bit more. Dad is awake and anxious this morning. He wavers on the verge of tears and seems so sad and discouraged over the last few days. I hold his hand and talk with him about what is happening in my life. I remind him of all of he amazing people who love him that are constantly praying for him. I know after seeing Dad that I need my family with me today. I can tell that I will need to stay the course today and I call Sheri, Mom and Tammy to fill them in on the latest news of Dad. Sheri is at the office trying to get things handled and utter and complete guilt fills my heart that she is dealing with things at work for me and my business. I tell her not to worry and to please come to the hospital; Mom quickly cancels the eye doctor appointment she has and tells me she is on her way. Tammy unfortunately is unable to leave work as her boss is not in and I promise to keep her posted on the day's events. Sheri arrives and she and I spend time with Dad. Kim tells us that Dad is going to have to have surgery again today. Although the three drains they removed, did their required work of draining Dad's chest, he is struggling again with his breathing. They don't have any plans to reduce the ventilator today since they like to keep him as comfortable and calm as possible before a procedure of any kind. I call Ed and he contacts Pastor Zelt from our home church, Prince of Peace. Pastor tells Ed he is planning to drive right out to the hospital to see Dad. He arrives at about 1:00 and we take him back to Dad's room. We are so thankful for Pastor Zelt. He is an amazing Man of God and we pray that his time with Dad today will be uplifting and encouraging. I know how busy he is and am so glad that he was able to come and spend time with Dad. Dad was so happy to see Pastor and he gave a huge smile when he saw him walk into his room. Dad knows that Pastor and our church was always praying for him over the past three years and I know that seeing him was what Dad really needed today. We discuss the surgery that Dad will have today and the doctors explain that the reason Dad needs another drain put in is that the antibiotics just haven't been able to fight this area in his chest. It is a very difficult area to treat, Kim explains to us. Dad will have his surgery at around 5PM today. When Mom arrives we head up to see Dad and she tells him how much he is needed at home. She needs him to plant the flowers and Nikki and Shadow miss him so much. Dad smiles at Mom and then looks at her with such sadness. I know how much he wants to go home and more than anything we want to get him out of the hospital, but because of the ventilator, it's just not possible. We are told at 4PM that Dad is leaving to go to surgery, we say our good byes and each of us squeezes his hand and tells him that we love him and will be waiting for him to return. Sheri starts to leave Dad's side and Dad looks at her and points and mouths where are the doctors. She tells him the are waiting for him in the operating room and he kind of points at her and mouths something about her doing the surgery. We get a good laugh at the fact that Dad for a brief moment thinks Sheri is going to perform his surgery. It must have been the gown and gloves and I am sure the steady stream of faces sometimes causes him to have to do a double take with us. He chuckles when he realizes his mistake and we leave to wait for him to have his surgery.

It should be a couple of hours. We head down to atrium to wait together. I enjoy these times, because we are together and we can talk about how we are feeling and what we think about what is happening with Dad. After about 1 1/2 hours we head up to the desk to check on Dad's progress. The man at the desk looks at us and says, "Your father?". I say my father and her husband, pointing at Mom. He looks at Sheri, then at Mom, then at me and he says, "You are all sisters". Well let me just tell you, Mom was pretty happy about that comment! I on the other hand, having turned 50 on the 14th, am not thrilled to hear this and on top of that, one of my clients thought that I was Sheri's mother the other day! As we are getting ready to head back to the ICU Waiting Room to wait for Dad, we see his surgeon Dr. Whyte. Dr. Whyte knows us of course as he has done several surgeries for Dad up to now. We ask if he was doing the surgery and he explains that he didn't even know that Dad was in surgery today. He leaves to check and see what is going on for us and also to find the family that he originally came to find when we stopped him. He returns and we sit together and discuss Dad's condition and our worries about his lack of improvement and return to the ventilator. He explains that Dad is receiving a good amount of calories each day, but that he is concerned that he isn't putting on any weight, in fact he is loosing weight. He is also very concerned about Dad being back on the ventilator as he was off for two full days over the weekend and now is needing it again. He said that we need to sit down tomorrow and talk with "Dad's ICU Team" and with him to decide what our next course of treatment will be. We check in to find that Dad has returned to his room and is sleeping peacefully. Kim is still there and will remain until 7PM and she really wants Dad to rest. We agree and plan to leave him for the night. Sheri and I drive to the office and begin the task of returning calls and handling the business of the day. I can't say enough about the amazing people who I call "my clients". They have been so supportive and understanding throughout this journey with Dad. I am so blessed and thank God for the wonderful people in my life. I get home and Mom and I talk for a long time, we finally go to bed at about 11:30 and I tell her that I love her. She is trying so hard to stay strong right now, but I know that this is so hard for her. I lay in bed trying to sleep and finally I do. What tomorrow holds I don't know, but I am so thankful that Dad made it through yet another surgery and that he is resting peacefully tonight.

February 19, 2010

Sheri arrives after work for the 6PM visit today. We are trying to stay on a sort of schedule to make sure that someone is with Dad each day. As the weeks drag on, it is so important to keep his spirits up. She says that he is in good spirits. The nurses till Sheri that he is doing all of his own breathing and that the respirator continues to remain in the event that he has trouble breathing. The doctors want to keep it connected, “just in case”. They tell Sheri that he was up in a chair today, which is awesome news. Small steps, but huge accomplishments. Sheri told me that Dad seemed very sad, almost like he was going to start crying today. I can’t imagine what it feels like to be cooped up in a hospital for this long. Dad was always such an active person and this must be so difficult for him to handle. We wish he could talk to us and tell us what he is feeling. We know, however, in our hearts, that even if Dad could speak to us right now, he would not want to worry us. He would just shrug off the concern and worry and smile. We are concerned about Dad's emotional and mental state right now. It is so crucial that we keep him focused on getting well and remind him to stay strong and continue to fight.